So Much Life

Beginning to think I need to start writing daily again. The truth of the matter is this is the most eventful time of my life that I've ever had and I think some chronicling should be done. And for once, most of it is...good.

Since I've been living here, almost no day goes by that doesn't have activity or interaction in it (which easily correlates to the fact I have a roommate now). There is always life around me, a world I'm not used to but have wanted to be a part of taking shape right in front of my eyes. It's unbelievable. And a lot of the time I don't even know how to take it, so I just roll. This isn't to say I still don't have my down times, but I don't have much time for them anymore. I still have life concerns and worries and fears and stresses, but physically I feel eased a bit for some reason.

My roommate is essentially the triple threat girl I speak of and it took me a little while to get used to the idea that this pretty and bubbly thing could actually like me and that I could actually fit in her life. And while I'm still not fully integrated, only I can do something to make it stick. No doubt having some social like her around me is going to help ease me into being able to be more social in the real world, especially at places where networking is the key. And it's the only key. I'm also learning how to take regard for someone else a bit more and forcing myself to be appropriate in places I'm unfamiliar in. I have to remember to make an effort when she comes home from work to talk to her and hang out and not just sit up in my loft and continue watching netflix. The same goes for when she has people over from her small group at church. I'm now part of the hosting committee. It's very new but can only benefit me.

And I am going to a church in the cities that has so far turned out to be decent compared to the one back home. I'm trying my hardest to get involved in groups so I can get to know people and I'm proud of the initiative I have to take and that I do take. And now when I go to church alone, I'm no longer anxious or hyperventilating. That's amazing. It doesn't mean I take absolutely everything they say verbatim, and I'm not nearly as into the missionary thing and spreading the word as they are, but there's always a grain of salt you take with any place of faith you find. Honestly, this isn't to say down the road the church just isn't going to work out, but as of right now I'm content.

I suppose I should say the only thing I'm concerned about and should be concerned about is the amount of alcohol I can find and consume over here. I feel like it's never been so easy to have a drink or ten, and almost all the social gatherings I've gone to have involved alcohol in some way. While I consider this a godsend as seeing how it turns me into a normal talking social person, I can see how it could turn into a problem really fast. Like possibly being twenty blocks from home drunk after two (really good) cocktails at a cinema lounge event at nine o'clock at night and really not knowing what to do from there. Whoops.

So maybe I should have just had the one, but I wasn't feeling anything at the time I started drinking the second one... Caught up quick.

Well, if my only concern is something that can help benefit me too, then I'm not going to worry. Not yet anyway. When I become an alcoholic we'll talk. But for now, I just have to do what I have to do.