I feel so exhausted. I just want one day where I don't have to go some place and talk to people or have people come to my place and talk to me. It's just been go go go since last Wednesday. And I keep getting headaches. And I keep getting those possession dreams again. Three in a week. Not a good sign. And they're not really dreams anymore. Also not a good sign.
I came to the conclusion that it's better a whole lot of people didn't express their condolences or even acknowledgement of this death. Other than maybe three friends I told and who were supportive, the rest have had no bother with it. And I know the information wasn't that hard to find. But I don't tend to share these deep personal moments on like facebook. As I see it, it is my burden to bear and I'll keep it to myself. I'm honestly more likely to share my favorite sex position or vibrator in public than what is going on with my family. I suppose the only exception is this blog, but it has more than one purpose. And I can't be held responsible for you wandering, prying eyes and the judgements you make.
That was half a joke. Ha ha.
Anyway, I think I'm getting better. I've stopped crying every night. I'm still angry and upset and still pondering our existence and worrying about how all my family is getting old and will ultimately leave me. But I suppose that's just an average day for me. Whatever.
I just want to sleep.
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