Or does it just make the heart forget?
I've been away from the computer, away from interaction, and back in the hospital and I haven't had a lot of time to think about people and things that make me feel (for a lack of a better word) complicated. I really don't have time at this point in my life for extra emotional baggage; there's enough of that floating around just trying to adapt to my situation.
I only know that when I'm back on the computer, online in my "old" environment, I feel somewhat replaced and like soon I won't matter much to some people because they have my replacement around them that is better than me. Better than me because I've walled myself up and put up a hostile front from this lingering personality disorder problem. Heck, I'd rather hang out with my replacement than me. And now I feel like there's not much I can talk about anymore and any of the little quirks that made me feel so close to the others aren't there anymore. They get to do that with all these new people and I'm left behind.
Let's keep this absence thing going.
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