Love love love love.
You were everything I wanted
You were everything a guy could be.
But you left me broken hearted
Now you don't mean a thing to me.
All I wanted was your love, love
Love love love love
Hate is a strong word
But I really really really don't like you.
Now that it's over,
I don't even know what I liked about you.
I brought you around,
And you just brought me down.
Hate is a strong word.
But I really really really
Don't like you.
Thought that everything was perfect
Isn't that how it's supposed to be?
Thought you thought that I was worth it
Now I think a little differently.
All I wanted was your love, love
Love love love love
Hate is a strong word,
But I really really don't like you.
Now that it's over
I don't even know what I liked about you.
I brought you around,
And you just brought me down.
Hate is a strong word.
But I really really really
Don't like you.
Now that it's over you can't hurt me.
Now that it's over you can't bring me down.
All I wanted was your love, love
Love love love love.
~Hate (I Really Don't Like You), Plain White Ts
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Speak Now
I have a lot on my mind, but haven't said anything cause I'm just not sure how to say it. I keep thinking in song lyrics which does no good for a blog since well, you can't hear said song lyrics so it just looks stupid in writing. But I'll just use them to start I guess.
"I've nothing to say." "You have many things." "Well nothing that's not been said."
~Sunday in the Park with George, Stephen Sondheim
How I feel. I do have a lot to say but nothing that I feel I haven't said before. I feel like I've been turned into a bad guy and I feel angry. I'm annoyed that even though I've stayed neutral and never insulted a group of people, or questioned other people's desires or faiths or what makes them who they are, I still get attacked and pinned as a bad person. I can't really beat around the bush with this anymore because it's just eating me and I can't be particularly metaphorical either because there's just no way to do that either. I never understand what I do to people that make them turn their backs on me. I've taught myself to not be confrontational and stay coy and demure out of fear that my normal personality and attitude are not becoming to others. Bad experience a long time ago that hasn't left me I guess. And this upsets me.
"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life."
~How to Save a Life, The Fray
Well I guess that should be pretty self explanatory. I'd like to say I feel that remorseful about the situation, but I'm getting past that point. How can I be all to blame for something? But you know what? That's what people do, they put all the blame on the other person because that's the way people's minds works. So I guess we just have to accept that and move on. And maybe I'm feeling better because I'm finally getting this out. What do they call that? Closure?
And in the words of Rachel Green ala Friends:
"I am OVER a-you. And that, my friend, is what they call... CA-LOSURE."
No more speaking is necessary.
"I've nothing to say." "You have many things." "Well nothing that's not been said."
~Sunday in the Park with George, Stephen Sondheim
How I feel. I do have a lot to say but nothing that I feel I haven't said before. I feel like I've been turned into a bad guy and I feel angry. I'm annoyed that even though I've stayed neutral and never insulted a group of people, or questioned other people's desires or faiths or what makes them who they are, I still get attacked and pinned as a bad person. I can't really beat around the bush with this anymore because it's just eating me and I can't be particularly metaphorical either because there's just no way to do that either. I never understand what I do to people that make them turn their backs on me. I've taught myself to not be confrontational and stay coy and demure out of fear that my normal personality and attitude are not becoming to others. Bad experience a long time ago that hasn't left me I guess. And this upsets me.
"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life."
~How to Save a Life, The Fray
Well I guess that should be pretty self explanatory. I'd like to say I feel that remorseful about the situation, but I'm getting past that point. How can I be all to blame for something? But you know what? That's what people do, they put all the blame on the other person because that's the way people's minds works. So I guess we just have to accept that and move on. And maybe I'm feeling better because I'm finally getting this out. What do they call that? Closure?
And in the words of Rachel Green ala Friends:
"I am OVER a-you. And that, my friend, is what they call... CA-LOSURE."
No more speaking is necessary.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Move On
"Look at what you want, not at where you are, not at what you'll be..."
Ah I need to watch Sunday in the Park With George again. Such a beautiful song that is. Unfortunately my TV has eaten it. Sigh.
Yea, so I guess I'm moving on. I'm certainly moving forward with my life, I know that. I'm trying to find reasons to go to the cities and I'm actually going. Had a strange thing happen where I started getting emails about a screenwriting group that meets once a month and kinda tagged along and now maybe I have a new found strength to continue on with what is my passion. Also chatting with new people online (which I still think is pathetic and I suppose slightly desperate but some of us anxiety-ridden antisocial girls need to use online methods to meet people) and finding common interests and discovering that THEY actually know how to properly interact socially and conversationally. And sure, maybe I'm having a few issues holding conversations due to still feeling floopy from past events, but I'm trying and I'm liking what I'm seeing. I'm getting more sun (possibly more sunburns) and more vitamin D and actually acting productive and purging/reorganizing all the crap I have and it's a nice change.
Needless to say, I'm going to leave the past behind. People, places, mentalities. I know what I want and I know what I can do and dammit no one is going to ruin that for me.
Now seriously, I need to get that DVD out of that TV.
Ah I need to watch Sunday in the Park With George again. Such a beautiful song that is. Unfortunately my TV has eaten it. Sigh.
Yea, so I guess I'm moving on. I'm certainly moving forward with my life, I know that. I'm trying to find reasons to go to the cities and I'm actually going. Had a strange thing happen where I started getting emails about a screenwriting group that meets once a month and kinda tagged along and now maybe I have a new found strength to continue on with what is my passion. Also chatting with new people online (which I still think is pathetic and I suppose slightly desperate but some of us anxiety-ridden antisocial girls need to use online methods to meet people) and finding common interests and discovering that THEY actually know how to properly interact socially and conversationally. And sure, maybe I'm having a few issues holding conversations due to still feeling floopy from past events, but I'm trying and I'm liking what I'm seeing. I'm getting more sun (possibly more sunburns) and more vitamin D and actually acting productive and purging/reorganizing all the crap I have and it's a nice change.
Needless to say, I'm going to leave the past behind. People, places, mentalities. I know what I want and I know what I can do and dammit no one is going to ruin that for me.
Now seriously, I need to get that DVD out of that TV.
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